


Declarations of Protection

by NOT_Kirie_Goshima



Category: Uzumaki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Out of Character, Parody, Protective Kirie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4935970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NOT_Kirie_Goshima/pseuds/NOT_Kirie_Goshima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just wrote this sattire fanfic to piss off the reviewing side of the fandom. Don't take this seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Declarations of Protection

There was no Netflix in 1952, so one could not ‘Netflix & Chill.’ One could more like ‘lie in bed and chat semi-coherently and chill.’ As Kirie Goshima and Shuichi Saito were doing at the moment. Their conversation had long since died down, and Kirie was busy stuttering a word she couldn’t currently remember when she remembered something far more interesting than that word.

“Oh, so, I saw your dad acting really weird, earlier.”  
“Y-you saw my dad? Like, outside?”  
“Yeah. He was staring at a snail shell like it held the secrets of the universe or something!”  
“O-oh, it--”  
“Hey calm down, it could’ve been someone else! I saw him in a dark alley while I was on adrenaline.”  
“No, no, that’s my dad. He’s become unhealthily obsessed with...oh, n-nevermind. Let’s, um, order pizza or something.”  
“Pizza is great, but what do you mean, nevermind? That sounds kinda serious.”  
“N-not now...seriousness might ruin our date!”  
“Not really. I like serious things. Hold on a second. DAD! CAN YOU CALL THE PIZZA PLACE AND ORDER A LARGE PEPPERONI AND BACON PIZZA, PLEASE?”

From the first floor came the muffle voice of Yasuo Goshima yelling,

“SURE! ON THE CONDITION THAT YOU GIVE ME THREE PIECES!”  
“YEAH, OKAY, DAD. THANKS. Anyway, what were we talking about again?”  
“H-hey Kirie, what would you do if I asked you to leave town with me?”

The look on Kirie’s face, formerly one of distant ‘what was I saying just then?’ became one of pure ‘ಠ_ಠ.’

“Um, come again?”  
“Leave town. Run away. Elope.”  
“Yeah, why would we do that? We haven’t graduated yet. And, as much as I don’t want to have a little brother, I have a little brother. So, that’d be a no.”

Shuichi sighed defeatedly. Kirie continued to make the look of disapproval.

“Why? What’s wrong with this town? It’s not  _that_ small...”  
“N-no, no that’s not it, i-it’s just...I have an  _awful_ premonition about this town. Like something horrific is going to happen here, and my dad being insane is part of it. Kirie, I think this town is going to become a disaster site.”  
“What makes you think that?”  
“I-I don’t know! But I’m still scared!”

At this point, Shuichi was actually shaking. His fear seemed genuine enough, even though Kirie had  _no idea_ why he was scared. Thus, Kirie shed her look of disapproval in favor of an expression closer to ‘(●´ω｀●). She wrapped one arm around Shuichi’s waist and the other around his shoulder, holding him tightly.

“Well, say something horrible does happen. You’ll be safe, with me.”

Kirie stroked her boyfriend’s hair slowly and absent-mindedly as she spoke, and Shuichi nuzzled into his girlfriend’s shoulder.

“I mean, if something horrible happens, I’ll be there to protect you.”

Oh, that wasn’t true. Shuichi knew what was going to happen and he knew neither he nor Kirie would have any power against it. But the way she said that, the way she said she’d protect him, while she held him like that, Shuichi couldn’t help feeling somewhere near comforted. Heck, he almost felt  _safe_. One  _couldn’t_ be safe, not in Kurozu-Cho, but Shuichi supposed that due to the way the human brain had of constantly fooling itself, one could  _feel_ safe. 

“Kirie...”  
“I won’t let anything bad happen to you, okay?”  
“Y-yeah...”

The mental image Kirie’s words conjured made Shuichi blush; Kirie, staring defiantly and unphasedly into the Spiral itself, clutching Shuichi against her as if daring the Spiral to contaminate either of them--and it  _not_ contaminating them. Kirie, bravely fending off the cosmic monstrosity that was the Spiral. It wasn’t possible in real life, but the image of it was amazing. Kirie being heroic and whatnot.

“OY, KIRIE, PIZZA’S HERE!”

Aaand daydreaming time was over. Pizza, fortunately, was hardly a bad thing.


End file.
